Date: 11/09/93
T. Carter Scholl

Just when you thought you could avoid them by turning the television off, MTV's Beavis and Butt-head have entered the realm of literature (sort of) with the Pocket Books publication, "This Book Sucks."

Writers Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil, under the supervision of Beavis and Butt-head creator Mike Judge, have given the brain-dead characters slightly more substance, although that doesn't say much, considering the characters they portray on the TV screen.

The writers didn't have much choice - "huh huh huh huh huh" isn't at all funny in print (if it ever was).

The moronic duo pretty much sum themselves up in the book's Introsucktion (huh huh). "We live in this town and have crappy jobs and go to a sucky school with a bunch of morons. We're like their leaders." What a comforting thought.

With no videos to trash and without the sound of their infectious laugh, Johnson and Marcil have kept these not-so-friendly cartoon burnouts somewhat funny by presenting a few aspects of their lives not normally seen on television.

The reader gets a glimpse of the family bush (huh huh) where it is revealed that the two boy wonders don't know most of their relatives, including their fathers.

The family bush isn't completely full of losers. One distant relative once held a patent for a horse-drawn car (probably a Pinto).

A collection of snapshots of the boys in their younger years reveals that Beavis' now infamous infatuation with flammable liquids dates back to at least his fifth birthday and on the eve of his seventh Christmas, Butt-head tried to take Santa Claus hostage by placing a leg-hold trap at the bottom of the fireplace.

The confidential report of Highland High School's psychiatrist (the duo live in Highland, U.S.A. - the town that sprang up just after Springfield became incorporated) recommends the two either be graduated early or committed (it also mentions that the duo's "...pathological laughter causes severe emotional stress in those around them").

Anyone who ever did terrible things to bugs as a kid might find some humor in "Insect Court." The beetle found in the park is found guilty of being a bug and is sentenced to death by lethal explosion. You get the idea.

The book offers a few actual photographs that are treated much like the basement-dwelling duo's video criticism. For example: in the word balloon accompanying a picture of Alice Cooper, the conversation reads, "What's wrong with his eye? Uh, I had to kick his ass. What for? Uh, he looked at my woman. Huh huh. No he didn't. You don't have a woman. He bumped me then."

Another section offers a few ways to make and spend a million dollars. The last suggestion, as Johnson and Marcil well know, is to write a book. Perhaps Johnson and Marcil really will hire someone to change the remote for them.

The most optimistic entry in this book is at the end. Here the reader gets a glimpse of Beavis and Butt-head as fat and bald old men. Could that mean that no more Beavis and Butt-head books will be published?

There is some humor in this book, but be warned: reading "This Book Sucks" is a hazard to the cognitive ability of any semi-intelligent person. It is best left in close proximity to the toilet.